Viral Bleach
(parody of Coconut)

Bruder caught a virus, he caught it at de beach,
His sister caught anudder one she wash it out wit bleach.
She put de bleach in de virus, she drank it all up.
She put de bleach in de virus, she drank it all up
She put de bleach in de virus, she drank it all up

She put de bleach in de virus, she call de pres’dent, woke ‘im up,
Said “pres’dent, ain’t there nothin’ I can take?”
I said “pres’dent, to relieve this belly ache,”
I said “pres’dent, ain’t there nothin’ I can take?”
I said “pres’dent, to relieve this belly ache.”

Now lemme get this straight,
You put de bleach in de virus, you drank it all up,
You put de bleach in de virus, you drank it all up,
You put de bleach in de virus, you drank it all up,

You put de bleach in de virus, you call your pres’dent, woke ‘im up,
Said ” pres’dent, ain’t there nothing’ I can take?”
I said, “pres’dent, to relieve this belly ache.”
I said “pres’dent, ain’t there nothin’ I can take?”
I said, “pres’dent, to relieve this belly ache,”

You put de bleach in de virus, follow dis to de letter
Put de bleach in de virus, then you’ll feel better,
Put de bleach in de virus, drink it all up,
Put de bleach in de virus and call me in the morning.

Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo.

Brudder caught a virus, he caught it at de beach,
His sister caught anudder one she wash it out wit bleach.
She put de bleach in de virus, she drank it all up

She put de bleach in de virus and called de pres’dent, woke ‘im up.
She said, “pres’dent, ain’t there nothin’ I can take?”
I said, “pres’dent, to relieve this belly ache.”
I said “pres’dent, ain’t there nothin’ I can take”
I said, “pres’dent, now lemme get this straight,”
You put the bleach in the virus, you drink it all up,
Put the bleach in the virus, you drink it all up,
Put the bleach in the virus, you drink it all up,

Put de bleach in the virus. You’re such a silly woman.
Put de bleach in the virus, follow this to the letter
Put de bleach in the virus, then you’ll feel better.
Put de bleach in the virus, drink it all down,
Put de bleach in your virus, and call me in the morning,

Woo–ain’t there nothin’ you can take?
I say, woo–to relieve your belly ache,
You say, well woo–ain’t there nothin’ I can take?
I say woo–woo, to relieve your belly ache,
You say yow–ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say wow–to relieve this belly ache,
I said “pres’dent, ain’t there nothing I can take,”
I said, “pres’dent, ain’t there nothing I can take,”
I said, “pres’dent, ain’t there nothing I can take,”
I said, “pres’dent, you’re such a silly woman.
Put de bleach in your virus, follow dis to de letter,
Put de bleach in the virus, then you’ll feel better,
Put de bleach in your virus and drink it all up,

Put de bleach in the virus and call me in the morning.
Yes, you call me in the morning. If you call me in the morning,
I’ll tell you what to do if you call me in the morning.
I’ll tell you what to do if you call me in the morning.
I’ll tell you what to do if you call me in the morning.
I’ll tell you what to do and if you call me in the morning
I’ll tell you what to do.

Image source: © creators.com – Andy Marlette

This “poem” is my response to Day 26 at napowrimo.net, where we are challenged to write a parody poem – mimic the form while changing the content of a poem or song. Coconut is a song from Harry Nilsson’s 1971 album Nilsson Schmilsson. Because the song fits the following situation so well, I substituted very few words and used the same style of speech (dialect?) as the original.

At a White House briefing on 20 April 2020, a President of The United States who shall not be named suggested that disinfectant could be injected into the human body as a means of fighting COVID-19.

 

~ Day 26 ~