tinnitus

Ringing Distraction ~ haibun

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 18 Comments

Ringing Distraction

My tinnitus is so bad today that I-cannot-think-straight. Literally. It pulls my attention away from what I’m doing and to the thought of the ringing in my ears, instantly, like snapping a finger. I have to refocus my attention, which isn’t always easy. ADD already has a say in that, so that hyper-focusing means having to drag my attention away from the ringing and (hopefully) back to my “task at hand.” If it’s something like writing, as in this, getting back on track may be as simple as re-reading my last few lines, but that doesn’t do anything for the direction my thoughts were taking me before the distraction. (I’ve already had to walk away, then refocus, three times for this short paragraph.)

setting pen aside
no better luck with keyboard
ringing distraction
listening to Miles Davis
soothing balm for tinnitus

Sounds of Silence

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 19 Comments

Sounds of Silence

Gone, and sorely missed.
Since that first day of instability,
inability to navigate
a straight line, and its week-long
recovery. Everything spinning,
until inner ear cleared. Silence,
once held dear, replaced
by constant ringing, bringing
this listener to his knees.
He’s not known a quiet moment, since.

OctPoWriMo 2019 offers Silence as a prompt for Day 11.  Around 1990, an inner ear infection had me laid up for a week, my equilibrium totally shot.  Since then, I have had non-stop tinnitus in my left ear, some days worse than others.  This week has been particularly bad.

Give Me a Ring ~ prose poem

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 2 Comments

Give Me a Ring

The trick to having ringing in your ears is in not hearing it. Of course, it’s actually something else, and you’re not really hearing it, because if you are then why doesn’t anyone else? But for the sake of this conversation, let’s say you can hear the ringing in your ears, only this time you don’t. Notice. It. Because once you do, that’s all you’ll hear. Of course I’m talking! My lips are moving, aren’t they? But you cant hear me over the ringing, can you? Yeah, that’s my fault. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.

Image source: allthingsclipart.com

In the Stillness of the Night

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 35 Comments

In the Stillness of the Night

In the Stillness of the Night.jpgSilence, once a friend,
nay, once a lover
with arms embracing me
in warmth and fingers
stroking, gently
lulling, me to sleep,
has left my side, displaced
by incessant ringing,
a drone so maddening
as to be tiresome,
without the benefit
of a sleep that will not
bed with cacophony.

And so I make do
with white noise. True,
no lover, but a friend
to shield me, that sleep
might also be my friend.

I do miss silence.

This is in response to Sounds of Silence at dVerse, where the  challenge for Poetics from Dwight Roth is to write a poem about the human condition that alludes to silence.

nodding off, and on

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 17 Comments

nodding off, and on

nodding off, and onclouds
then no clouds
then all of us do sunglasses

sometimes I make out
words in the ringing
buzz that lives in my ear

bits of conversation
on another plane
plain as day

random, then gone
no further word
of cloud or sunlight

sometimes, it’s atmospherics
the wind marching
across these hills

at others, it’s a distraction
reminding me
to focus on the task at hand

most times, I’m just tired
closed eyes have no need
for sunglasses

Yes, this happens. Just now, in fact. As I looked out the window, watching 30 mph winds twist 50 foot cedars in my neighbor’s yard, those first words drifted through my head, fading into my ever-present companion, tinnitus.

Give Me Silence

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 16 Comments

give-me-silence

Give Me Silence

All I ask for is silence
Relief from this awful tone
That just won’t leave me alone

It started with imbalance
That laid me up for a spell
Gave me an earache from hell

I’ve had a buzz ever since
If it could just be a tune
It drives me mad as a loon

So I say with reluctance
I’m sure it won’t likely pass
It’s been a pain in the ass

Jane Dougherty’s Poetry Challenge #49: Painful silence is to write a poem of at least three stanzas, with a rhyme pattern of abb, acc, add, etc. She also offers five word suggestions: silence, raucous, pulse, haven, lethargic and silver, with a graphic titled Deep Dream, White Noise. Unless I’m feeling it, I have a hard time writing about pain, so I couldn’t really get into this challenge. My response is pretty simple, with rhyme, but no real meter. I guess you could say I just mailed this one in. (And yes, once again, I’m late with this response.)
…By the way, I’ve had ringing in my left year for the last 25 years.

Image source: wikimedia.org

Samuel F. B. Damned

/ Ken / rivrvlogr / 1 Comment

Samuel F B Damned

No white noise…

not the rhythmic tick
of precision clockwork,
nor the hum of the fridge,
not even the howling wind
outside my window

…is sufficient distraction.

That hissing,
shrill whine
forever roaring in my ear
is punctuated, today,
by random, staticky clicks.

My mind wanders
inner aural caverns,
seeking a tympanic override
for this cryptic Morse code,
to restore the compromise
of those white howls,
hums and ticks.

NaPoWriMo2014_29