Where the River Bends
Where the river bends I trail my paddle,
where the river bends yet meets my paddle.
On trees, submerged yet breaking water,
turtles scatter when they see my paddle.
Heron standing on the shore leaps to stately flight
with broad wing-strokes when it hears my paddle.
I turn for home, thankful for all the gifts
granted today with each stroke of my paddle.
A fisherman waves as his boat passes
where the river bends, and I raise my paddle.
This poem is my response to MTB: To turn again, about turn again, the prompt from Laura Bloomsbury at dVerse ~ Poets Pub, which is to use epiphora (aka epistrophe or antistrophe), which uses end line repeats that are, for the most part, consecutive, although allowances are made for alternates as well as the use of the repeat word with variance. Apologetically, my use may fall under the maxim ‘too often is too heavy.’ Laura also discusses anaphora, where the first word repeats in consecutive lines. I have employed symploce, the combined use of anaphora and epiphora. Apologetically, my use may fall under the maxim ‘too often is too heavy,’ so here is an edit:
Where the River Bends
Where the river bends I trail my paddle,
where the river bends yet meets my paddle.
On trees, submerged yet breaking water,
turtles scatter as my kayak drifts on by.
Heron standing on the shore leaps to stately flight
with broad wing-strokes as I round the bend.
I turn for home, thankful for all the gifts
granted today with each stroke of my paddle.
A fisherman waves as his boat passes
where the river bends, and I raise my paddle.
Very beautiful!
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Thank you.
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Sounds like a peach of a day and enjoyed hearing about your encounters along the route. Bends, rivers, and paddles are inseparable.
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They are. 🙂 Thank you, Lisa.
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You are welcome.
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I like both!
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Thanks!
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I like the repetition of paddle as it makes me visualize the repeating motion. I especially like this stanza:
“I turn for home, thankful for all the gifts
granted today with each stroke of my paddle.”
Gratitude is so important! ❤🙏❤
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Thank you, Tricia. I’ve never been disappointed while kayaking.
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Lovely, Ken. There’s something about a bend in a river–perhaps it’s the unknown that might be there. I love the mention of the sights you see–the heron and the fisherman–and how you feel grateful for being able to be there.
The first one is almost ghazal-like–without the rhyme, and the repetition, as Tricia said, does sort of bring to mind the motion of the paddle.
I think perhaps I prefer the second one, but I could easily read them again and change my mind. 😀
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🙂 Thank you, Merril. It was a last minute decision as I was posting this to try a different version.
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You’re welcome, Ken.
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I’m pretty sure I’ve not written a ghazal with the internal rhyme. That’s probably me rebelling against rhyme all together. With that in mind, I could alter the last stanza to this:
A fisherman waves as his boat passes.
I ken, as the river bends, and raise my paddle.
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Well done!😀
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I love all the paddling home.
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Thank you.
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I’m not convinced that version 1 is overdone. I love it ghazall-ish-ness. They’re both fine, man. Sorry to be so brief. Busy night, so I’m skipping the prompt this time around. (Gotta compose a blog brag for a piece to be published tomorrow.)
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Thanks, Ron.
And good news. I’ll watch for it.
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I love your poems… both equally well. The beauty of nature blended with the stroke of the paddle in the water is a very calming feeling. Well done Ken.
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Thank you, Dwight. 🙂
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You are welcome!
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Makes me want to take our canoe to the river and…paddle!
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😀 Enjoy!
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I like the rhythm and repetition in your poem and the images of all that you experience on your river journey. Really nice. 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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I prefer the first – each verse a stroke of the paddle, as it were, repeating and echoing the rhythm one employs to move across the water ~
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Thank you.
When I poem really works for me it can be like it’s writing itself, with little conscious effort. Paddling can be like that. I’m always watchful, and when I pause to observe is when I realize how I got to that point.
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these two versions of paddling both carry a river flowing eloquently inside them.
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🙂 Thank you.
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I’m taken with the living imagery in this. Vivid.
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Memories do that for me. Thank you.
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Not heavy at all – your repeat lines were just right, like the dipping of a paddle in water. It just depends on which version you prefer.
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Thank you, Lara. I think this is one I’ll be going back to.
And thank you for the prompt.
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The repetition of the paddle motif here adds to the pervasive peacefulness of the poems. I enjoyed both, but think I like the second one best!
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I stay away from “white water,” so kayaking definitely is a peaceful experience for me. Thank you, Ingrid.
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The repetition mimics the strokes of the paddle I think. The first one reminds me of a ghazal. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe. I’ve written to so many forms that few stand out in my mind and ghazal never occurred to me. That’s probably because I tend towards free verse or Japanese forms.
I could make that first one a ghazal just by changing the last stanza to this:
A fisherman waves as his boat passes.
I ken, as the river bends, and raise my paddle.
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Perfect!
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I think they both work. The first finds the rhythm of the rowing and a purposeful outing; the second drifts a bit more, where the rower is just letting the river take him where it will.
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Not under the ‘maxim’ …. not at all! Bravo.
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Thanks!
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Ken,
The river as a metaphor for life works so wonderfully here, the repetitions as smooth as water.
~🕊Dora
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Thank you, Dora.
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I think you followed the form of ghazal to perfection… amazing I had not thought of that. That said, as you know I’m a fellow paddler. I and my wife just bought a packraft each, which means that we now can combine walking with paddling… I look forward to the summer.
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Thank you, Björn.
Make the most of that summer weather!
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