walked through once – cross-out poem

walked through once

I know how
to build doors

there’s a difference
between entrances
and exits

enough
to risk the sun

the damage of life
wants me vulnerable
cleaved to the spine

pulling back
to the end

the body read

a door of risk

This is my response to dVerse Poetics: About Portals, from Anmol at dVerse Poets Pub. My cross-out poem is derived from one shared by Anmol, What’s Left Behind After a Hawk Has Seized a Smaller Bird Midair, by Justin Miller Reed.

Image source: morguefile.com

 

46 thoughts on “walked through once – cross-out poem

  1. Wowsers! Now you’ve inspired me, what a brilliant erasure, Ken! Although there’s much to admire in the original, I love the windows thrown wide effect of your condensed version.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Damn rights, we need to be aware whether we are coming or going. Cross-out poems , in one form or other, have been done at d’Verse; called blackout poems and they are fun .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I haven’t written an erasure poem for a long time – yours is perfect for the prompt, Ken, and I love the title. I especially love the lines:
    ‘there’s a difference
    between entrances
    and exits

    enough
    to risk the sun’.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. it made me smile to see an erasure derived from poem that starts with the words “What’s left behind” Such a beautiful result, risk and brimming life with each door. the inevitable damage, but the sun is indeed worth the risk!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love what you’ve done with the original thought-provoking poem–to illustrate powerfully what the process of condensing can reveal. “I know how to build doors” indeed! And thank you for including the cross-out. Such an inspiring work you offer here!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you.
      For this erasure, I started with the impression the original poem left with me. I wanted a poem that could be read as giving the same message as the original.
      This screenshot is my first time presenting it this way. In Libre Office, I highlighted the individual words I used, then went back to cross out the rest. Due to its height, I took two screen shots and stitched them together.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This is the first I have seen something like this…Thank you for letting me know these are erasure poems…This is on spot…Ahhhmazingg…Much love…keep safe:)

    Liked by 1 person

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