first buds opening, spring waters
deliver the promise of rebirth
Re-imagining of Saturday’s haiku.
promise of rebirth
held within waters of spring
first buds opening
Image source: wallpaperflare.com
first buds opening, spring waters
deliver the promise of rebirth
Re-imagining of Saturday’s haiku.
promise of rebirth
held within waters of spring
first buds opening
Image source: wallpaperflare.com
I like the new one because it leads us to the effect, not the cause. But both are beautiful.
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I didn’t realize that’s where my mind was taking me, but you’re right. Thank you.
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Just my impression, but both versions are great!
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Beautiful, Ken.
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Thank you, Robbie. 🙂
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A wonderfully contemplative read, thank you for these reflections Ken.
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Thanks, Paul.
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Pleasures all mine
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I like this revision very much. It’s interesting what we notice after a poem sits for a bit.
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Thank you, Janice. I thought of making it an American sentence, but I have a thing for couplets, whether they rhyme or not.
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I like it as a couplet and how you have placed it on the image with those buds encased in water (ice?) drops.
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Thank you. The picture was the start of the rewrite, because I couldn’t work it out as a haiku, so the rewrite. I had hoped to find a photo that showed a newly budding tree, yet with water. It does look like ice, doesn’t it?
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It looks like ice beginning to melt. At first I saw water droplets but then looking the second time I thought perhaps it’s ice.
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