flock of geese takes wing
ribbon of moonlight shadows
steel rails glistening
This haiku is my response to Carpe Diem #1788
In the Moonlit Night (Revise That Haiku),
which is to revise the following classic haiku by Masaoka Shiki.
the wild geese take flight
low along the railroad tracks
in the moonlit night
Masaoka Shiki
Image source: Wikimedia Commons
Geese and the Moon, by Ohara Koson
rivrvlogr 
sheer talent, lovely
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Thank you! 🙂
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most welcom
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I like the shapes in your revision and started drawing them. The triangle, the parallel lines, the wavy line…
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Thank you. 🙂 That should be interesting.
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“ribbon of moonlit shadows” is exquisite phrasing!
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