Remember
Before you turn away,
remember an island of two
walking amid a sea of people.
Before you turn away,
remember the music
that no one else could hear.
Before you turn away,
remember the waves
that washed over you.
Before you turn away,
remember the heart
that beats as one with yours.
Before you turn away,
ask yourself why
it would hurt so much.
The prompt for Tuesday Poetics: Lost in Translation from Laura at dVerse is to write a poem as an interpretation or impression of one of the three foreign poems (translated) that are offered. I have chosen “Two Bodies,” by Octavio Paz, shown here:
Two Bodies
Two bodies face to face
are at times two waves
and night is an ocean.
Two bodies face to face
are at times two stones
and night a desert.
Two bodies face to face
are at times two roots
laced into night.
Two bodies face to face
are at times two knives
and night strikes sparks.
Two bodies face to face
are two stars falling
in an empty sky.
clever how you reversed the two bodies in their turning away and kept the intimacy of what would be lost – thank you for joining in
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🙂 Thank you.
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This is done so well Ken- I love it.
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Thank you, Linda.
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Compelling and beautiful take on the poem, Ken.
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🙂 Thank you, Lisa.
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YW 🙂
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I like the repetitive “before you turn away”. Beautiful write!
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Thank you. 🙂
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Quite evocative … each stanza giving me pause … especially, though, remembering music no one else could hear. To jointly “hear” music the “waves of people all around” do not strikes as one of the true indicators of a couple connected. Beautiful poem!
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Thank you, Jazz. Yes, a true island.
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BALL AND CHAIN
The love of your life
So sweet, so all-embracing
So dear, so costly
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The price, sometimes.
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Love your interpretation here Ken. The repetition at the beginning of each verse worked very well.
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Thanks, Rob.
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“remember an island of two / walking amid a sea of people.” Love the play on words in those lines. Great work!
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Thank you.
When it seems that nothing else exists…
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Both poems are powerful. “the music that no one else could hear”–that is such a wonderful expression of two that are synchronized. (K)
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Nicely done Ken! A great reminder of the importance of remembering our history together!
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Thank you, Dwight. The weight of any decision, but some more than others.
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The thing that the “leaver” forgets, before they turn away: it will hurt them, too. Thank you for a beautiful set of insights.
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Merci!
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I love how you used the intimacy of two in creating a similar meaning with the fear of turning away.
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Thank you, Björn.
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Speaks to me of that unison that becomes so a part of two people they might forget, I love the refrain, real pause for thought in one’s thinking and actions.
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Thank you, Paul.
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My pleasure Ken.
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