wandering from path
traveler lost in snowstorm
looking for shelter
path hidden by storm
lost traveler wandering
warm shelter waiting
These haiku are my response to
Carpe Diem #1592 Storm.
Image source: Wikimedia Commons (Metropolitam Museum of Art)
In the Snow, by Utagawa Kuniyoshi
Hope he finds the shelter. I love the image.
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Thank you, Merril.
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I like how in the first one the traveler is highlighted and the second, the shelter. And in both, the seeking.
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Thanks, Claudia. My first draft – a single incomplete haiku – had elements from both of these. I compromised and starting posting what is the first of these when I realized it could be two haiku. I don’t think it would have come together as a tanka.
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I agree, a tanka would have not been able to get it all in, I think, and I love these two together, they enhance and augment each other so beautifully.
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I am reminded of a story I read by Jack London but that one had a dog in it with the man.
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Look closely. You may see dog paw prints.
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To Build a Fire. No shelter there. The dog was the intelligent one.
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Basho would not have smiled upon that man.
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Maybe he would have sadly laughed, and wondered why the gods suffer fools….
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🙂
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Brrrrrr! But you close with the possibility of reaching that warmth …
I like the pairing with shift of focus.
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Thank you.
The optimist in me shining through. 😉
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Worthy haiku, both of them. I see Basho on his path, silently cursing the snow… as should be.
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Thank you.
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You are welcome!
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Love the effect of your poem and your picture! The wandering traveler is a great image!
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Thanks, Dwight.
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chilling image, especially as the lost wanderer is heading away from the village
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Thank you. It’s a good fit.
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My heart sank!
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Ooh! A writer does like to draw the reader in. Thank you.
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Two aspects of the same scene, or two scenarios from the same elements. Chilly!
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‘Tis the season. 🙂
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🙂
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I love how your words bring out their separation, yet reminds me of their interrelation.
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Thank you.
It’s all a matter of degrees! 😉
Sorry – couldn’t help myself.
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loving the shift in viewpoint! well done!
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Thank you!
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It is a happy circumstance with wanderer and shelter come together for mutual purpose, otherwise both are left cold. Ken, this is so lovely and precise, precise
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🙂 Thank you.
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I like the tension between looking and waiting.
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Thank you, Frank. Retaining calm could be the answer.
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To be lost in a storm and not in the shelter… a nightmare of mine… and I do back country hiking on skies… storm is reason to stay
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I understand that, completely. As a truck driver before I retired, there were many times I wondered what I was doing out in that sort of weather – “safe” inside the truck cab, but at the mercy of the weather.
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Knowing that a shelter is waiting can make being out in a storm more bearable.
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Endurance is everything.
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Another Fabulous poem! (@—>—)
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Thank you, Dorna.
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Hope he finds that warm shelter soon!!
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🙂
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I think optimism is a ‘good’ fault to have.
For unknown reasons one was caught in snow –
and then a warm heart and hearth appear.
I like that.
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Thank you, Jules.
Motivation for survival.
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Two finely tuned haikus contrasting delicately but there is a positive with an underlying question. Does the traveller reach the warm shelter?
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Thank you. Yes, a good question – one for the reader to decide.
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Yes, I have been there and done that . . .
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Retaining calm can expand on the moment, but that option likely would be the least of one’s concerns in such a situation.
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Lovely circling here. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe.
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WOW … wonderful set of haiku … I am speechless.
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😀 Thank you, Kristjaan!
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You’re welcome
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