Carpe Diem #1532 Richard Wright’s “A Red Sinking Autumn Sun” asks us to create a renga
(or chain of verses) by following the provided haiku by Richard Wright (here in blue italics)
with two lines. A “closed chain” is attained when the hokku (starting verse)
and ageku (closing verse) connect in a way to make “the circle” complete.
One magnolia
Landed upon another
In the dew-wet grass.
following long winding path
to village in the valley
Keep straight down this block,
Then turn right where you will find
A peach tree blooming.
sound of bees seeking pollen
scented shower of petals
Make up your mind, Snail!
You are half inside your house,
And halfway out!
neighbor waving from window
one more mile to reach my home
All right, You Sparrows;
The sun has set and you can now
Stop your chattering!
longing for peace and quiet
weary from days of travel
You moths must leave now;
I am turning out the light
And going to sleep.
open window calls to you
leaving my mind free to dream
I am nobody:
A red sinking autumn sun
Took my name away.
left behind along the way
enlightenment in new day
Images
Museum of Fine Arts Boston – Java Sparrow on Magnolia, by Katsushika Hokusai
Library of Congress – Snail and Magnolia, by Utagawa Hiroshige
The Metropolitan Museum of Art – Moths and Butterflies, by Kubo Shunman (edited here)
(I buried this on my hard drive and missed the submission window at Carpe Diem)
Some of the renga that you do seem like a blending almost into one voice, a completion of a verse. This one seems like two voices–your lines responding like two people talking, and I like your responses–the image of the neighbor waving the window, the weary traveler, the open window.
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This one gave me a little trouble, so I think I “put it away” thinking I wasn’t done with it. As it turns out, I was. That’s one thing about prompts. I’m not always willing to let a poem sit and wait for editing.
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And thank you, Merril!
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