The challenge for Carpe Diem’s Renga Challenge #5 such a fragrance is to create
a renga (or chain of verses) by following each provided haiku by Bashō
(here in blue italics – tr. Jane Reichhold) with two lines, placing the haiku in any order.
A “closed chain” is attained when the hokku (starting verse) and ageku (closing verse)
connect in a way to make “the circle” complete.
what kind of tree
with the unknown flower
such a fragrance
pleasures of quiet evening
accented by temple bells
spring night
someone in retreat is lovely
in the temple corner
rising from contemplation
content in being alone
with a fan
drinking wine in the shadow
of scattered blossoms
tiny bird for company
curious sparrow watching
red plum
creating unobtainable love
blinds of a noble lady
alone in private garden
finding beauty in nature
blossoms at their peak
the mountain the same as always
at daybreak
steadfast while weathering time
old man in mantle of snow
melting away
the brush draws up the water
of a spring
beneath shade of branches
graced by beautiful blossoms
Image source: The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Plum Tree in Blossom, by Kitao Shigemasa
Wine Pot and Cup, by Ryūryūkyo Shinsai
Pingback: pleasures of quiet evening – renga – All in a Day's Breath
Reblogged on WordPress.com. Love this beautiful poetry form. It feels like the wind caressing the trees, or a dance of mystical beings. It is soothing and wonderful and magic!
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Thank you for sharing.
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Very eloquent! ❤
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Merci!
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Beautiful to read – impressive to follow your pattern toward complete circle.
Somewhat like doing a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces, creating those pieces to suit your fancy. This HAS to be a healthy-brain habit – do you do this in one sitting? Or walk around letting it form and reform in your head?
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Thank you, Jazz.
Once I decide on the order of the haiku, I usually do these in one sitting, maybe two. I usually work my way down – unless I have an ending I absolutely want to work towards – but for this one I had my last three two-line stanzas right away six days ago, and then got stuck. I came back to it a few times with no luck, until today, when it seemed to mesh. All along, I had one line for my second two-line stanza that I was determined to make work. Once I threw that out, it all fell together.
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Ooooo, it can be hard to detatch from a phrase/line that has taken root! (Maybe that line wants to be the star of a different piece?)
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I wish, It was specific to this, but in the wrong sense and the wrong feel (I finally realized).
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The patience of a Zen master . . .
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🙂
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You make these look so easy. I love especially the sparrow couplet. (K)
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That was my favorite one, too.
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Thank you, Merril. I think it helps keep a natural theme to the series.
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Thank you, Kerfe.
I was worried about that one straying from the overall flow, but realized it serves as the connection to nature I try to maintain in my tanka.
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I agree with others that you make this seem easy, but your couplets are perfect.
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Thank you, Merril. Six haiku are offered, with the option is to use either 3 or 6 of them. Maintaining a flow through 12 verses is a challenge, but I enjoy doing it.
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I can’t add to what the others said except that I love it. And the reading of it calms thoughts and soothes. It’s just beautiful.
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Thank you, Claudia. Completing one of these may be satisfying, but a comment like this seals it.
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I’m glad. I found so much in this poem to reflect on and the rhythm and flow of it are like another level of meaning that adds to the words.
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Again you made it Ken the perfect renga together with the master. A wonderful read.
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I fixed it. All is well. 🙂
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Thanks
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This is so good. You made it look so simple (which I know it’s not) yet with many layers and an smooth flow. I’m reading and reading! Thanks!
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Thank you.
Some of the people I follow (janedougherty, merrildsmith & methodtwomadness) do Magnetic Poetry on a fairly regular basis and refer to it as “The Oracle.” Sometimes they amaze me.
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Thanks for sharing- I’ll check them out!
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