ADD is my friend. I try to keep that friend at a safe distance, but apparently he has been looking over my shoulder for the past week, as evidenced by two recent poems, both having very faint similarities to the final products I intended to post, “showers in the night” and “no spring sprouts – troiku #2” (now renamed “ADD troika”).
With “showers in the night” I pasted an early draft into the editor. I corrected that in the comments.
ADD troiku? I have no idea what is going on there. Well, actually, I do. The source haiku, credited to Claire Vogel Camargo (that credit now removed) is my first haiku of the troiku, the first two of my three should be the last two, and the last haiku is from my troiku on January 7th.
Yeah. I even confuse myself. Normally I am better at maintaining focus. Too many things on my mind, I guess. I think I’ll go outside now and work on reseeding my lawn.
Here is the correct troiku. I think. 😉
no spring sprouts
in the herb garden
his heart attack
© Claire Vogel Camargo
no spring sprouts
nor desire to tend garden
in this time of loss
in the herb garden
nothing more than weed choked life
echoing my grief
his heart attack
takes my mind to dark places
mourning clouds my sights
A troiku is a form devised by Kristjaan Panneman at Carpe Diem: three haiku, with each of the three lines from a suggested haiku as the first line of each haiku in the troiku. I posted another troiku back in January, when the original haiku here (above) was provided at Carpe Diem.
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I WAS wondering, and then I thought perhaps I didn’t understand the form. 🙂
I like how these are separate haiku, but they also all go together. Life and death, and grieving for what is lost without being able to move on to something new.
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I’m better now – for now. 😉
And, thank you, Merril. That line “his heart attack” threw me off. I couldn’t wrap my head around it as haiku, until I reminded myself this actually is senryu.
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I could see why “his heart attack” could throw you off. 😉
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I like the consistent tumult of grief in this. That was a challenging haiku to work with.
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Thank you, Janice. I find it harder to write haiku about grief. I do find the words, but addressing it is not particularly my favorite thing.
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wow I love this
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🙂 Thank you, Krissy.
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most welcome 🙂
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Phew… you got there in the end 🙂 In any order, this is great!
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😀
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This is fabulous. Please could I use this at a local shortform poetry group I have just started. It would be good to introduce people to ‘troiku’. I will of course credit the original writers.
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Thank you. Yes, you may.
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