no spring sprouts
nor desire to tend garden
in this time of loss
in the herb garden
nothing more than weed-choked life
echoing my grief
his heart attack
takes my mind to dark places
mourning clouds my sight
his heart attack
complicated loss
reflection
A troiku is a form devised by Kristjaan Panneman at Carpe Diem: three haiku, with each of the three lines from a suggested haiku as the first line of each haiku in the troiku.
If you have stayed with me this far, you can see that this is not a troiku. I totally spaced out when posting this, and have corrected it here.
All of these haiku are very impactful.
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Thank you, Sharon.
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Each haiku deepens, moves inward from garden to heart. I like the triple amplification. I feel the grief.
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Thank you, Jazz. It is a moving subject. I only wish I had posted this as I intended. This doesn’t follow the troiku form, and I totally flubbed the source haiku. So, I’ve edited my note on this and I have a new post with the troiku as I intended it to be. I need to work on my focus.
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Focus is good, but its gaps often open the mind to creative stretches … focus somewhat a mixed blessing. My confusion about the definition of troiku is resolved, thanks. And reading the revised sequencing, I am no less impressed with subtle repetition’s deepening of the emotion carried on collective verses.
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Thank you. I like how the form lends itself to that.
Distractions do often lead to inspiration. Now if I can just remember to check my work. Carpentry doesn’t have a monopoly on “measure twice, cut once.”
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Pingback: no spring sprouts – Troiku #2a | rivrvlogr
It still speaks loudly.
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Thank you.
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I do not know about forms of writing, but this really struck me hard. My father did not die of a heart attack, but what you said about the weeds in the garden (he had a big one) and losing darkness in clouds are very descriptive. He was my best friend and I miss him more than anything in the world. If your words touched a stranger so far away, so deeply, you are a good writer. Keep writing.
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Thank you. I’m glad for the connection.
Troiku is something I learned about at Carpe Diem, a site I visit at blogspot. This version doesn’t illustrate it very well. In fact, it doesn’t – period. I must have been pretty spaced out when I copied into the editor. I did correct it in a subsequent post, where I think it has even more strength: https://rivrvlogr.wordpress.com/2018/03/22/no-spring-sprouts-troiku-2a/
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