Ghazals Revised

It comes to my attention that, in my first and second attempts, I misinterpreted the rules for writing a ghazal. I thought the first couplet is composed of two lines with end rhyme. In fact, the intention is for both lines to have the same end word, or words, as the second lines of the couplets that follow.
Considering that, I have revised the first couplets of those two poems so that each is a true ghazal.

Unwelcome Dawn

The dawn would come upon this night,
Repair my soul and end this night

Despite my loss, and with it pain
I don’t care to upend this night

But then, there are those close to me
Who say I should suspend this night

They see the darkness over me
Concerned for how I spend this night

Their words may hold a bit of truth
But I still hope to mend this night

So I must look within myself
With hope that I may ken this night

Inner Light 

These words are born within my heart
With warmth that’s held within my heart

The darkness that had taken root
And made its home within this heart

Would suffocate and take all life
That once had been within this heart

But then you came and with your light
Did shine true love within this heart

Fueled by the warmth there in your heart
I hold you close within this heart

Most willingly I keep that love
Now in my ken, within this heart

   ~ five or more couplets, lines the same length, meter not required
   ~ first couplet same end words; 1 to 3 words in 2nd lines repeated; rhyme – aA bA cA dA eA
   ~ (optional) internal rhyme in second lines, preceding repeated rhyme
   ~ possible naming or reference to author in last couplet
   ~ traditionally invoking melancholy, love, longing, and metaphysical questions, ghazals are          often sung by Iranian, Indian, and Pakistani musicians

8 thoughts on “Ghazals Revised

  1. Pingback: Unwelcome Dawn | rivrvlogr

  2. Pingback: Inner Light | rivrvlogr

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