Fawning Attention


Blondine throws her arms around the neck of Bonne-Biche, by Virginia Frances Sterret,
from Old French Fairy Tales

Fawning Attention

This doting of hers over that white dear is getting old, fast. I understand that it was a true surprise for her to find the deer standing outside the door, apparently having lifted the door knocker with its snout. Even more surprising was when it nudged her aside as she opened the door and proceeded to enter the house. My house.

There’s something odd about this animal. That white is just not natural. Nothing seems to affect it. Even her favorite stained glass window, which casts shimmering rainbows as the sun arcs across the sky, has no effect. It’s always white!

This whole arrangement is very unsettling. It’s been days, now, and she continues to nuzzle and fawn over this intruder to my sanctum. And I’m getting hungry! I can’t even reach the bell pull.   My bell pull. It’s always served as a reminder for her that it’s dinnertime. I swear I saw that damned deer purposely tangle and shorten it.

I’ve always been respectful of our surroundings, but let me tell you – if I don’t get some attention, and soon, I’m going to start climbing those drapes she’s so fond of.

This is my response to Jane Dougherty’s Microfiction Challenge #27 – Rescue, using the image provided. The word count here is 199, and Jane’s critique is welcome.

*Following Jane’s suggestion in her comment, I’ve edited to remove any hint that this story is in the voice of the cat, until the very end. (Previous version: I can’t even reach the drawstring she’s hung for me to play with. When the bell rings, it’s always served as a reminder for her to feed me.) The word count is now 192.

Image source: Art Passions

18 thoughts on “Fawning Attention

  1. Made me smile 🙂 If you were to take out the word ‘play’ in the phrase about the drawstring, and say something like, ‘I can’t even reach the bell pull, my bell pull…’ the mystery about who is speaking would be kept right until that last phrase. ‘play gives it away that it’s the cat. Just a thought. It’s a great interpretation 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

        • You make plenty of good suggestions, Jane, and sometimes they mesh with my train of thought. I know I can be guilty of leaving loose threads in my micro-fiction responses, but sometimes I like the air of mystery. And, while this one still might be considered a scenario, I hoped it could be seen as self-contained. (After all, cats are all about “now,” right?)
          Also, I really do appreciate the opportunity your prompts provide to practice a form that is not my forté, as well as the critiques you provide.


        • Thanks so much for that. It’s sometimes easier to see what doesn’t quite work in someone else’s writing, and yet make the same mistake oneself. The one doesn’t rule out the other. I’m glad some of the very small details I see fit in with what you see too. It’s a great help to me as well.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Microfiction challenge Rescue: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes

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