Instinct Prevails
What could be more enticing than the nearly flawless skin that lay before me? My arms around her, she accepted me willingly. True, she had no idea of my intentions, but just what exactly were my intentions? Was I even sure?
The night was perfect, late evening with the full moon lending a silver-light quality that gaslights couldn’t duplicate to the street outside the window of my apartment. Standing beside the window, I could feel that moonlight on my own neck as I stared down at hers.
It was the perfect opportunity, yet there she was in my arms, and, even as my breath warmed her skin, I could not compel myself to mar her beauty. I felt as though I were embracing a Grecian statue, one that I might longingly touch, yet never taste.
Suddenly, hunger overwhelmed me, and my intentions became clear. As my instincts overrode any thought of sparing her, I leaned closer and sank my teeth into her finely sculpted neck, drawing the lifeblood that had drawn me to this moment. As she went limp in my arms, I thought it ironic that our tableau, in itself, might be considered art.
This is my response to Jane Dougherty’s Microfiction Challenge #4: At the window, inspired by Kiss by the Window, by Edvard Munch. I’ve kept it under 200 words (here, 195).
Image source: Wikipedia
Very clever twist at the end. If you want a suggestion, I think I’d mention the flawless skin, the finely sculpted neck, the Grecian statue a little less and make her just a bit more real, and give her seducer just a touch more emotion or nastiness. Maybe you don’t want him to be nasty, though, and that’s just me thinking in clichés. Just a thought.
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Thank you for the suggestions, Jane. As always, they’re welcome – they’re the main reason I do these. I used those descriptions to show the reason for his confusion.
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I get that he looks on her as a sort of icon, but I don’t get the other side that would make him confused, his raw emotions or instincts, or something human and touching that comes from her.
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I don’t see an emotional attachment on his part. When I say confusion, it’s in regards to his attraction to an aesthetic that would prevent him from meeting his needs. Once hunger reminds him of the true reason for his attraction to such a fine specimen, he “wakes up.”
I couldn’t say that and stay under 200 words, a limit I now realize you relaxed for this challenge. I suppose I could flesh it out, but I’ll leave as it is.
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I see what you mean. That’s exactly what comes over, a sort of detachment.
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Oh my, now that was tasty. Arousing, even.
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🙂
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I had a feeling he was going to be vampire. Great job! The painting really does look like he could be a vampire biting her neck.
(Do vampires breath though, and is their breath warm?)
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Ooh! Good questions.
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Vampire 101. 🙂
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Great finale. (K)
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Thanks!
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Pingback: Microfiction challenge At the window: the entries – Jane Dougherty Writes
I like this.He’s very cold and calculating, somehow. I think that works really well for a vampire. And it’s beautifully written. I love that final sentence. It pulls it all together, somehow, and perfectly fits what you’ve told us about him.
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